Darrian Part Five: The Light Guides You Home
by HazelTree019
Summary: The fight is over, and Darrian and Zevran can finally begin to live the rest of their lives. A Dragon Age: Origins piece. Darrian male PC elf /Zevran. "Darrian" is the first series. There will also be a "Zevran" series, designed to be read *after* this one. Disclaimer: All characters, places etc. belong to Bioware except Darrian who is all mine.


After defeating the archdemon, Zevran and I had decided to keep travelling. Alistair and Leliana had joined us, but each parted company at their own destination, leaving the two of us alone at last. A small part of my heart ached for those long evenings we had all spent together round the campfire, but the only thing I really wanted was for Zev to be by my side. And he was. We avoided contact with the Grey Wardens – they had no real way of finding us, and the last thing I needed was to be conscripted back into their ranks. I had been nervous when we visited my family: it was the first time I had seen my father since he found out about my preferences and I wasn't sure how he would react. But he'd actually been quite taken with Zevran, and had proudly introduced him to most of the alienage. There had been a small pause when we first announced that we were going to bed, but we had kept our exertions as quiet as possible, and Zev had mostly behaved himself in front of my father, so no comments had been made. But Denerim held too many memories for me now. The streets were blood-stained, ghosts haunting every corner. I knew my family would be taken care of, and I didn't want them to see what my adventures had really done to me. They would be happiest if they remembered my victory.

It was the middle of the night and I was pacing round the camp. The embers had long since burned themselves out but the light from the full moon was enough. My boots crunched over glistening snow and I shivered. I had been so desperate to get outside that I'd only thrown on my shirt and trousers, and it wasn't enough to keep out the vicious bite of the cold. My numb fingers played restlessly with the pommel of my dagger. I wouldn't need it – the darkspawn threat having mostly passed – but life-saving habits die the hardest. I stopped circling and closed my eyes, listening to the frozen night. The only sound came from the wind as it rattled the bare branches of the forest around me.

Ever since the final battle I had been sleeping badly. I would lie for hours, unable to settle my mind long enough to rest. When I finally drifted off I'd jerk awake, sweating and shaking, feeling the flames licking my face, the cries of dying soldiers still ringing in my ears. Consequently I was exhausted, making decisions automatically and without much thought, unable to engage with anything properly. Zevran was the only thing I still cared for, and never had I cared for another so much.

He had drifted off a few hours ago; his golden hair stirring as he breathed softly, the curves of ink rippling across his skin. I loved to watch him sleep – his proud features were strong and handsome, his peaceful presence soothing. Eventually, however, I had become too restless to lie still: I needed to feel the wind on my face, let the dark touch my skin. I had dressed silently, as swiftly as I could, pausing only to pull the blankets up to Zev's cheekbone and place a kiss on his sleeping forehead. He had been suffering over the last few weeks, unaccustomed as he was to the harsh Ferelden winters. I would have to be careful not to lie against him when I went back – my skin was far too cold for that now. I sighed ruefully: I needed his touch.

"Come back to bed, my love."  
His hand rubbed my arm; the heat prickled my skin, stirring me from my reverie.  
"Sorry, did I wake you?"  
"No. It was the dog. He was worried you would be getting too cold. So, how about you allow me to warm you up, hmm?" He kissed my cheek. "We should stop him from fretting."  
For once, I couldn't bring myself to rise to the suggestive tone.  
"I can't sleep, Zev."  
I turned to look at him. He was huddled in a thick woollen cloak, and he was shivering already. He took my chin in his quickly cooling fingers, examining me closely.  
"You are so tired," he murmured. "You need to rest. Allow me to worry about everything for a while. I promised you I would take you to Antiva, let me do it now."

His almond eyes were concerned, and suddenly I could see something else in them as well, something that perhaps I hadn't allowed myself to see before. He was homesick. He had hidden it well, but the only place he really wanted to be was Antiva. And he was right: I needed to stop, to let him take the lead for a change. I'd like to see the City – it would be the perfect place for the both of us. I managed a small smile as I nodded. Tenderly, he pressed his still-warm lips to my icy ones, the tip of his nose cold on my cheek.  
"Come, you are frozen and I can think of a few ways to solve this problem."

We made our way back to the tent and he insisted I curled up with him, despite how cold I was to the touch. His hand held the back of my head, gently pushing my face into the crook of his neck where he was warmest. I heard a hiss and his breath hitched. I tried to pull back but he wouldn't let me. His heat seeped into me and I relented, accepting his unspoken request to wriggle closer, curling a shivering arm across his chest. A contented sigh sounded in his throat. Hunter dropped happily onto our legs, heavy muscles warming my feet.

Zev didn't want to sail, so we went round the Waking Sea, crossing the Minanter River before turning north for the Antivan border. Once we reached it the life seemed to flare inside him. He took on a new energy, acting the showman as he took me to all of the places he had spent his childhood. His stories made me laugh harder, his manner took on its former confident air, and he regained his ability to find fun in absolutely anything. It was infectious. Zev's ever-present chirpiness, days spent acting on any and every whim, and nights spent learning exactly what he could do in the bedchamber, soon had me feeling much better than I had in a long time.

I liked Antiva City. It was filled with crooked little back alleys that you could lose yourself in for entire days; the cobbled streets held a constantly busy atmosphere, the marketplace alone was brimming over with colours and noises, smells and…_life_. The Antivan customs were fascinating and Zev started teaching me the language, delighted at my interest, although my attempts at the accent were a source of the greatest amusement. He showed me the expanses of hot, shimmering desert sands that I'd never seen before; dark, quiet caves on the shore of that beautiful ocean; and I had never known that a night sky could be so vast. I had stood on the roof, staring up in wonder at thousands of stars in an endless velvety black, my lover smiling proudly at my side. We'd both tired of travelling. He found us a small flat overlooking the leather quarter and soon even the smell felt homely. We had many good times while we lived there, but a few days will always stand out in my memory.

-O-

I was haggling. The dar'misu was of excellent quality: elegant, well-balanced and fitted my hand perfectly. I had fallen in love with it in an instant. Zev was studying the other weapons for sale, always eager to enlarge his sizeable collection. Presumably there was nothing of interest because he sidled up to stand behind my shoulder, listening to my attempts at persuasion. Eventually the frustrated merchant had caved, allowing me to take it for eight sovereigns. I grinned, glad to see I hadn't lost my touch.

Zevran wrapped his arms round my waist, propping his chin on my shoulder.  
"Excellent work," he muttered quietly, so the man wouldn't hear.  
"Fancy helping me break it in later with a sparring match?"  
"That sounds like fun. My daggers could use some exercise." He ran a finger along the blade. "Hmm, that is a thing of beauty and easily worth twice as much. Perhaps I should taste that silver tongue of yours."  
Just as he laid a kiss on my purring neck there came a shout from behind us.  
"Oi! What's all this about, knife-ears'?"

He let go of me and we both turned, my lover hissing under his breath.  
"_Braska_."  
The Crows believed him to be dead, and unless it stayed that way it wasn't going to be pretty. We needed to keep our heads down.

The large human was flanked by two friends, each looking as thick as the other, and all of them were laughing heartily.  
"You do know you're both men, right? Is that an elf thing or are you just screwed up?"  
He was slurring, his pock-marked face reddened with ale. Zev's arm tensed against my hip. He hated this as much as I did, and we had both spent most of our lives on the receiving end of it. However, he excelled at finding brand new ways to wriggle out of this kind of situation, and true to form, he came up trumps again.

His slender fingers curled obviously round my wrist, sliding down to sit in my grasp. I played along, deliberately running my thumb across the back of his hand. Dim-witted confusion crawled over the thug's face: he had clearly not expected such a bold display of affection from two elves. Two _male_ ones, at that.  
"Why, yes," Zev drawled, "we had realised. We noticed that the first time we both took off all our clothes. We had sex anyway though, it seemed such a waste otherwise."  
My blank face twitched as I tried desperately not to laugh. The man drew himself up, cold grey eyes glinting with malice.  
"Ohhh, we have ourselves a smartarse, lads." The man leered.  
"And isn't it nice to look at?" Zev piped up, running his free hand over his rump. I bit the inside of my cheek, willing myself not to look at him lest I lose control entirely. The thug sneered, leaning down towards us.  
"Don't flatter yourself, knife-ears. Slaves all look the same to me." His friends cackled sycophantically as the man circled us, inspecting us like cattle. A small crowd was gathering to watch our humiliation, and I noted there was not an elf amongst them. They were all bored humans, looking for some entertainment to brighten their afternoon. The thug took Zev's chin roughly, twisting his handsome head to one side. He squeezed solid arm muscles, and the blond grunted as thick fingers reached down to snatch at his thigh. I bit back my anger: no-one touched my lover that way.

Then it was my turn. He prodded my arms and chest, smacked my leg, then a calloused hand yanked my head back by the hair so he could see my face. I clenched my teeth, swallowing my own grunt of pain and stopping myself from scowling. Apparently satisfied with our presentation, the thug moved back to stand between his men.  
"_Very_ nice. I'm sure I could find some lovely little chores for two strong knife-ears such as yourselves. Now then, I think you can start by making up for your lack of manners with a kiss, to prove your loyalty to the superior race." He pointed at his boot. "Right there."

Laughter sounded around us, and Zev glanced down with an expression of careful distaste. Then he looked the thug straight in the eye.  
"Oh. Well, there may be a problem with that. You see, if I am to prove loyalty, then I ought to be kissing here."  
He turned, twisting me round and pressing swift lips to mine. I responded happily, smiling into his bold mouth, my hand reaching up to the back of his head. His nerve knew no bounds apparently.

The whisper of a sword being drawn from its sheath broke us apart and the expression on the men's faces would have been hilarious if we had not been about to be impaled. A shocked silence had fallen over our audience and I was sure I heard a woman sigh. The thug stepped closer and the size difference between us and him became more apparent.  
"You can put that worthless elf mouth where it belongs. And so can that."  
He pointed the blade in my direction. Zev chanced a quick look at me, pure anger flashing through his eyes at the snub. I squeezed his hand. The thug leant closer.  
"Now!"

Zev rearranged his face into its most submissive expression.  
"But of course, master, whatever you desire. I live to serve you, after all."  
There was the slightest hint of sarcasm in his voice, which I guessed he had only allowed me to hear. He moved forward and still holding his hand, I followed, the both of us kneeling in the mud. Gingerly, Zev leant down and kissed the air above the man's foot. As I bent to do the same the boot swung up to meet me, kicking me squarely in the shoulder. Hard. Something cracked loudly and I cried out as he sent me sprawling to the earth, wrenching Zev's arm and pulling him on top of me. I winced as his shoulder smacked into my ribcage, his knee hitting my shin. A sharp pain was spreading fire across my chest.

Raucous, drunken laughter came from above us and I gritted my teeth, refusing to make another sound of pain.  
"Are you alright?" Zev muttered hurriedly in my ear and I nodded just enough for him to feel against his cheek. He pushed himself up carefully, holding out a hand to help me before turning back to the sniggering thug. Without warning he reached up, grabbing the man's chin and crushing his lips against a shocked mouth. I could just see the assassin's tongue forcing its way in. The man let out a cry of disgust and shoved Zev away, flushing furiously, the sword forgotten in his hand. The blond staggered backwards with a large grin plastered across his face.  
"I am so sorry, master. When you reminded me how much I love you humans, I could not help myself. Although, you may wish to try chewing on some mint occasionally, your breath is quite disgusting."

All three thugs lunged forward and we span round, bolting through the marketplace. I forced myself to focus on Zev's strong guiding hand in mine, ignoring the jolting pain in my shoulder. We were fleeter of foot than the humans and quickly lost ourselves in the throng. We skidded to a halt and flattened ourselves to the wall in a dark alleyway, hiding until we were sure we'd given them the slip. Zev's hair was escaping its neat braids, hanging round his face. It made him look wild, his almond eyes glittering with excitement, and Maker was he attractive.

"Will someone have seen that?"  
"No, my love. The ritual humiliation of elves is the same everywhere, and I am not usually recognised by humans, even here. The Crows will not hear of this."  
I nodded. Then I leant my weight back against the wall, a small moan in my throat. His wicked gaze softened, concern flitting across his features. He reached out a slender hand to touch my shoulder and I couldn't help flinching. He frowned, carefully undoing the top buttons of my shirt and easing the collar aside so he could see. He ran gentle fingers over my skin as lightly as he could and I sucked in a breath, pain sparking.  
"I…do not think that anything has broken, but it feels as though he has fractured your collarbone." His eyes flashed. "If there had not been so many others I would gladly have slit his throat. To think I had to let him get away with treating you like that."

He actually turned to look down the alley, as though contemplating going back to finish the job anyway. I reached out and took hold of his chin, placing a gentle finger over each of the bruises there. I was willing to bet there would be five on his thigh as well. He closed his eyes at my touch, nudging into my hand with a quiet, longing whimper.  
"An easy death is too good for him. You handled it much better than that."  
He rumbled quietly and I moved closer, giving him a soft kiss.  
"Here." He unbuckled his belt and pulled it free, using it to strap up my arm. "We have plenty of elfroot at home, it will soon heal."

He pushed up my shirt, cool fingers exploring my tender ribs. I smiled as lips brushed against them.  
"You know, I'm very impressed that you managed to kiss such a creature. He must have tasted horrible."  
"Hmm, I do feel quite nasty; it is something about the smell. I think I may need to wash the drunkard out of my mouth, perhaps you would do it for me?"  
His gaze was silky and I cocked an eyebrow in mocking disapproval.  
"I'll tell you where you can put your worthless elf mouth."  
He smirked and placed it squarely on mine, tongue trailing across my lip.  
"How about we go somewhere a little more private? Then I can put it somewhere else as well."

I purred in anticipation, slipping my hand down to sit between his legs. A gentle squeeze made him grunt in pleasure.  
"That sounds like an excellent idea. But can I ask that you wash the human off first? It is a little off-putting, and I like your mouth to taste of you."  
He nodded, grinning. I pressed forward, mindful of my shoulder. My mouth touched his as I spoke.  
"So, was he any good? Do I have competition now?"  
His breath huffed across my cheek as he chuckled softly.  
"I suspect that he has never kissed anyone at all. No technique. There is only one person who can match your skill, my dear, and that is me."  
"Oh yeah? Prove it."  
His skilled elven mouth was kept busy for some time.

-O-

It was raining. Heavily. Zev and I ran down the street, water splashing at our ankles. We had been out for a drink and when we left the inn the gloomy sky had thrown itself on top of us. Heads bowed we sprinted for the flat, getting inside as fast as we could and retreating to the comfort of the bedchamber. I pulled my sodden shirt over my head then looked appraisingly at his naked, writhing torso as he did the same before kicking his boots to one side. I ran a hand up his arm muscle, gazing into his almond eyes. He was soaked: his blond hair clung to his face, a drop of water running down his smooth cheek. I reached forward and caught it with my tongue, before tracing the tattoo across his cheekbone. He rumbled with pleasure at my attentions and pulled my mouth to his, a damp hand on my neck.

"I have something for you."  
Anticipation flared in his eyes.  
"Oh, really?"  
A knowing smile had spread over his handsome features, his tone innocently curious. I pressed forward and put one hand on his hip. He licked his lip. I bit mine, dropping my gaze briefly to take in his olive chest, then looked up at him slyly. I let a carnal smile curl my mouth and I knelt down. Then I rested my head against his side and reached under the bed, smirking at his indignant huffing. I took the lid off the box and looked up at him, grinning.  
"You are depraved. I was waiting for a good moment, and as you've just ruined your last ones in the rain, now seems about right. Here."  
Standing up, I watched him closely, eager for his reaction.

He reached out tentative fingers and took the boots from my hand. The expression on his gorgeous face was fantastic. The slight confusion in his eyes had been replaced with utter disbelief. His soft mouth opened a little.  
"Are these…?"  
"Yes."  
He stroked the leather slowly, tracing the detail with a long forefinger.  
"I…was going to buy these. Before I left for Ferelden…"  
I was grinning from ear to pointed ear as he lifted them to his nose, inhaling deeply.  
"Mmm…"  
"The finest Antivan leather," I said. "I had a fine time tracking them down."

I had gone through five stores, eight different merchants and three of Zevran's own contacts before I had found out where they might have been, lining the pockets of each one to ensure word did not get back to him; and getting the boots back to the flat without him noticing had been a challenge in itself.  
"They are the same ones."  
He was whispering and my smile was only getting bigger. He looked up at me.  
"You remembered."  
The awe in his voice told me it had been worth every frustrated minute of searching, and every last bribery bit.  
"They're a reward for a job well done."  
Recognition of his own words and their new meaning flickered in his eyes. He pressed swiftly against me, his kiss hot and passionate. One hand cradled the back of my head while the other reached out blindly to drop the boots onto the safety of the bed, before caressing its way up my bare chest.

Suddenly an icy pane of glass hit my back and I arched away from it, biting his lip in surprise.  
"Ngh! Oh, I am sorry, my love," he chuckled. "I had forgotten it would be so cold."  
"That's fine. I like to suddenly discover that you're pinning me to the window."  
"Well, if that is what turns you on…" He pushed closer, his warmth hugging my stomach, my strong arousal pressing into his. Lightning flashed behind me, lending his skin a silver hue as he slipped his hand down my waistband.  
"Did I ever tell you about the first time I picked a pocket, my dear Darrian?"  
I shook my head, inhaling deeply at his sly touch.  
"It was in that street down there." He nodded out of the window at the rain-washed cobbles below. His fingers flexed, punctuating his story with gentle caresses. "I think I was about eight years old. There was a man dressed in all of his finery and his purse was hanging from his belt, just waiting to be plucked. He stopped to speak with a prostitute, and I seized my chance."  
His fingers wriggled further down, wrapping round my length and a small whimper escaped my lips.  
"Unfortunately, I was not what you might call 'subtle': the man grabbed me and hauled me back to the Crows. He turned out to be working for one of the Antivan princes."  
"Maker!" I gasped, only partly in response to his words. "Wha…what happened?"  
I bit my lip, trying in vain not to buck. Fierce heat had pooled in my groin, erection pulsing with desire and I sincerely hoped that he was planning on progressing his attentions. Soon.

"They promised him that I would be suitably punished. And I was…but only because I had been caught doing it."  
I laughed breathily. Then Zev was forced to stop talking as I pushed my tongue down his throat. Thunder rumbled overhead.  
"I do love assassins."

He nipped my neck playfully, giving me a final, wonderful stroke before removing his hand. I growled, pushing my groin against him, but he ignored me.  
"That, I am glad to hear. Although, I do hope I do not come home to find you in bed with just any assassin. Some of them can be very dangerous, you know."  
He starting nibbling the muscles that ran down my neck.  
"I can't say I'd noticed. Ohhh…" I mewled, wanting his touch again. He grinned into my shoulder.  
"Then perhaps you have not heard of the great Zevran. He is feared throughout Thedas for his formidable skills."  
"Well I should like very much to meet this Zevran. If the rumours are true, there is something I'd like to do for him."  
"Oh? And what might that be?"

He knew perfectly well what it was this time. But he had piqued my lust and refused to continue, and now I wanted revenge: he was going to have to work for his satisfaction. He deserved to find out just how many of the great Zevran's skills I had picked up. I took hold of his waist and switched our places, resting his back on the warm patch I'd left on the window. I ran my hands down his stomach, tugging his belt open as I knelt down.

My fingers slid up the backs of his legs, taking a hold behind his thighs. I squeezed them, purring at the thought of those smooth olive muscles. I pressed my lips to the bulge in his trousers, making it harden significantly. Then I swirled my tongue slowly round his navel and he sighed luxuriously. I trailed kisses back to his groin, brushing my lips across the tight black leather. The softest of noises sounded in his throat. Now for the ties. He let out a delighted laugh when I took one end of the laces with my teeth, slowly drawing them open. He seemed to be holding his breath and his stomach tensed as I kneaded the palm of my hand against him; then I finally allowed my fingers to reach inside.

I pulled him out lightly, basking in the groan that came from above me. I stroked him absentmindedly for a moment, pretending I was trying to decide what to do with him, and he took a steadying breath. I licked his tip suddenly and he jumped, gasping as I kissed and nibbled. I moved my tongue slowly, seductively, refusing to take him into my mouth.  
"Huh…"

He gripped the windowsill tightly. He had started to quiver, his thigh muscles rippling under my arm; shallow thrusts pushed into me, begging for my full attention. I put a hand to each hip, holding him firmly to the sill. I trailed my tongue along his solid length as slowly as I could, and then…  
"Darrian?"  
Got him. I didn't answer, instead looking up to meet his pleasured eyes, I licked him again, making sure he could see my tongue.  
"Ohhh…_Darrian_!"  
He tipped his head back against the glass briefly and I could hear the amused frustration in his voice as he demanded that I listen. I tilted my head innocently to one side, my tone matter-of-fact.  
"Yes, Zevran?"  
As I spoke, one forefinger traced up and down his length. He closed his eyes, bucking against my hand.  
"Mmm…"

I smiled contentedly, drinking in the strained noises he was making. Each one was music to my ears.  
"What is it? You're very handsome like that, you know."  
"Ah, thank you, my dear, but…oh, do not make me beg."  
He knew where I was going with this.  
"Why not?"  
"You would not want to see me like th-that. You-huh! You love me too much for that, yes?"  
I suckled his tip ponderously, hearing a gasp.  
"I wouldn't count on it. Maybe I love you enough that I want to see every side of you, no matter what it looks like. Besides," I lowered my voice, "we both know you _love_ it."  
He groaned loudly, fingers flexing and pushing his hips forward into me as he arched his back.  
"You…are going to make me say it, aren't you? Oh!"  
"I was planning on it, yes." I squeezed him a little more firmly, pulling gently. He bit his lip, wriggling, and a small mewl sounded in his throat. He was desperate for me to finish what I'd started, but then so had I been. And it was a stubborn elf that I had.

"Oh, well if you don't want to…" I made as though to stand up.  
"No!" he pleaded. Oh, but I had done my job well. I paused, considering him, then ran a slow tongue from his base to his tip.  
"Then tell me."  
"Alright, alright!" He was whimpering now. "I want you to use your exquisite mouth."  
I opened said mouth slightly, paused, and cocked an eyebrow, waiting. He moaned longingly.  
"It is warm and wet and ohhh, Maker, I am begging you not to stop!"  
I smiled.  
"Seeing as you asked so nicely."

I lowered my head and did what he so desperately wanted. I rubbed and squeezed with my hand, caressed with my tongue, nipping where I knew he liked it most. I put my other hand on his still-damp waist, kneading at it. I moved faster and took him deeper, moaning at the feel of him, hot and hard in my mouth. I wanted more. His body writhed and not even the storm outside could drown out the groans that flowed from his throat.  
"Darrian!"

Somewhere along the line his hand had found the back of my head and he clutched at my hair. He pulled me further onto himself and I leant forward eagerly, tightening my mouth round him, tongue switching. This proved too much for him and he yelled as heat filled my throat. I purred and swallowed happily, suckling wantonly for more. Never had revenge tasted so good. His knees gave way and he joined me on the floor, panting.

I licked the last traces from my lip and said,  
"You know, a year or so ago I couldn't have done that."  
He braced his hands on his knees, looking as though he may still fall sideways. He opened his mouth to speak, then let out a breathy laugh when he realised he couldn't. I grinned, a hot spark of pride glowing in my chest. I had rendered Zev speechless. He swallowed and said,  
"And I cannot believe how go…how good you have become. But you underestimate your…natural talents, my dear."  
"Thank you. Anyway, it was only to be expected that I become so good: I learned from the very best, after all. And I do enjoy making you squirm."  
He chuckled.  
"I cannot deny the pleasure you can get from having someone entirely at your mercy."  
He leant forward and his lips brushed mine as he whispered,  
"Particularly such a devilishly sexy elf with a strong pair of hands," he found them with his, "and so talented a mouth." He kissed me slowly.

My stomach jolted with excitement at the sultry look in his eyes as he pulled back just enough to speak, returning my innocent tone.  
"And now, I am afraid I am going to have to bed you. You did not think you could do such a thing to me and not get everything you deserve, did you?"  
"Well, if you must, you must. I always accept the consequences of my actions."  
"I must warn you my dear: I am going to have to punish you severely for such a cruel display. If I were you, I would start begging now."  
I ran the tip of my tongue up his ear, nipping it.  
"Please punish me Zevran," I murmured. "I'm begging you."  
Growling, he threw himself at me, a hand at my groin. And he did.

-O-

Zevran's need to let the Antivan Crows think he was dead had closed a lot of doors on us. Despite this, he still had a fair few trusted contacts within the City. One of these contacts had sent us a letter, in which she mentioned a…party, which she felt Zev would enjoy, and she had promised faithfully that no-one 'untrustworthy' would be there. Zev had looked at me when he read this, and a pleading note crept into his voice when he asked whether I would like to go.

No matter how much he loved me, I knew monogamy must be difficult for him – he was too used to being able to lie with whoever he liked. So I told him happily that he could go: he needed it and I trusted him completely. But then he said,  
"Oh, no my love, I will not be going alone. You are coming too."  
I flushed at this matter-of-fact reply.  
"I really don't mind you going, but can you honestly see me somewhere like that?"  
"Why not? You are certainly skilled enough to handle it. And I would imagine you are much better than most of the other guests. I am a very lucky man, after all."  
"The only woman I've ever been with is Morrigan, and she certainly doesn't count. I wouldn't even…wait, 'most'?"  
He grinned.  
"Exactly. Which also answers your question, I think. Your skills with another man are unrivalled, but there is one experience that I cannot give to you. There will be other men there, of course, if you would prefer them, but I am afraid that I cannot consider you to have truly mastered sex until you have had at least one woman, purely for pleasure."  
"Oh, but…"  
He put a finger to my lips.  
"Think of it this way, my dear. Perhaps you could learn something new that you can show me when we get home, yes?" A wayward hand trailed down my body. "Unless, of course, you do not wish to teach me…"  
I did. But…really? He saw the indecision in my face and knew just how to sway me. He pouted slightly, dropping his disappointed gaze and scuffing the floor with a boot.  
"It would not feel right if you were not there, my love. I…I would not enjoy myself without you."

The heat was stifling. Incense smoke hung in the air and I coughed as it tickled my throat. I stuck close to his confident side as we made our way through the press of chattering bodies. We appeared to be inside some sort of abandoned warehouse, but the only light came from clusters of flickering candles and I couldn't really tell. Ale was flowing freely and as we passed, one wine-soaked human clutched at my arm.  
"More, elf," he slurred, squinting at me through hazy eyes. "Unless there's something else you'd rather give me." He sniggered, taking a lurid look at my thighs under the armoured leather skirt I was wearing. Zev leant past me and took hold of his wrist. The man gasped and dropped his goblet.  
"Trust me, ser. You could not hope to keep up with him."  
There was an audible crunch and the man yanked his arm away, nursing his hand. We moved on, picking up drinks for ourselves on the way.  
"So…not what I was expecting."  
He smiled.  
"I have been here once before. There are several back rooms around, which are far more comfortable for sexual activity. One of which I intend to steal you away to later, by the way."  
"Hmm, I prefer sooner."  
He laughed. Just then there was a squeal behind us.  
"Zevran!"

He turned and a human girl was forcing her way towards us. She looked to be a few years younger than we were, with long black hair that curled down her back, and skin even darker than Zev's. He smiled warmly.  
"Kahana!"  
"It has been too long." Her voice was reproachful, but she kissed his cheek then regarded me with interest.  
"I am sorry, I have been away for a time." He took my hand. "This is Darrian, from Ferelden, and this is Kahana. You remember I told you about her?"  
I nodded, smiling at her, and wondered whether she knew about the scar. She turned back to Zevran.  
"You have been talking about me? Nothing bad, I hope." She stepped a little closer, biting her lip.  
"Oh, of course not, my dear. I was simply telling him how beautiful you are, and how very…creative. I did not think you would mind."  
He reached out to run his fingers persuasively down her arm and she giggled. I smiled – he was incorrigible.

Just then I felt a warm hand touch my arm.  
"Darrian, is it? I could not help overhearing: you are from Ferelden?"  
A blonde elven girl was watching me, her smile sultry; her green dress clung to a curvaceous frame.  
"Er, yes." Smooth.  
Gently, I pulled my hand away from Zev's and saw him glance round, a slight smirk on his face.  
"I have always wished to go there."  
"Well how about I show you some of it?" Subtle. Well done.  
She smiled.  
"You know, you Fereldens are renowned for your strength."  
Her eyes roved over the solid muscles under my shirt. Then they flickered up to a point just behind me and Zev hooked his chin over my shoulder.  
"Trust me, my dear," he was addressing the girl as he looked her up and down. I could feel his satisfied grin against my cheek and couldn't help smiling. "It is true. The things this man can do with his hands…"  
He nipped my neck then lowered his voice, his breath tickling as he muttered into my ear.  
"Darrian, may I take Kahana somewhere a little more private?"  
"Of course."  
"Do you wish to come? I can always find a use for another pretty body or two." His hand caressed my backside and he was looking at the blonde again.  
"And…you could keep an eye on me."  
Just now I would probably get in the way; this was his night and I didn't want to spoil it for him. Besides, I'd rather take this a little slower.  
"No, thanks, you go. And I don't need to keep an eye on you: you can do whatever you want. Or whoever."

He kissed my neck gratefully then pointed over the heads of the crowd to the far wall.  
"There is a room just over there. If you want me, that is where I will be, just come straight in." He put his hand on my cheek to turn my head, kissing my mouth softly. "For _any_ reason. If you are gone when I get back, and it looks as though you might be, I will wait for you here. Enjoy yourself, my love, and…thank you."  
Another kiss and he was gone. Suddenly I felt very alone.

"So who is he?"  
I jumped, turning back to the girl who had moved closer while I wasn't paying attention.  
"Uh, he's…" What? Lover? Friend? Partner-in-crime? All of them and so much more.  
"He's mine."  
She smiled slightly.  
"I can see that. So tell me about Ferelden."

It was a good distraction. I was alone, in a hot, dark room with incense smoke cramming itself down my throat, surrounded by people I didn't know; and Zev had vanished with a woman from his exceedingly colourful past. A stab of jealousy shot through me at the thought of what he would be doing right now. With someone else. I fought it down firmly, disgusted with myself. He had actually asked for my permission, and if I hadn't given it he wouldn't even be here. He needed this, and what I needed was to relax, stop being so selfish and perhaps have a little fun. He was still mine.

I was beginning to get frustrated with myself. Why was I finding it so difficult to master? If I had been with Zevran I would have had him half-undressed, very hard and growling for my full attention by now.  
"You know what? I think Ferelden sounds wonderful," she ran her hand up my arm as she spoke, gooseflesh blushing across my skin "and it is high time I got a little more of it."  
She grabbed the front of my shirt, pulling me down to her and pressing her warm mouth to mine. She felt different to him, but after a hesitant moment I responded, licking my tongue against her lip. Here, at least, was something I had been given thorough training in.

I dropped my empty goblet on a table as we passed it, letting my hands roam as I walked her backwards to the wall. She took a sharp, excited breath when I pinned her against it, pressing closer. Okay, it couldn't be that difficult. Men did it all the time, and I knew I was better than most of them. I pulled away from her mouth, turning my attention to her neck. Her skin was smooth and warm. I traced my tongue over it, giving her the gentlest of nips. Slowly, I nudged the neckline of her dress a little lower, slipping my hand inside. My palm covered her large breast. It was firm and soft and it felt…good. Very odd, but good.

She was pressing into me, low moans in her throat; I was with a woman who wanted my touch…and I wanted hers. I was enjoying it. I could do this. I squeezed a little more, nipping my way along her jaw. I looked up, pausing as I caught sight of her eyes. They were large, and shockingly blue. Zevran's steady almond gaze flashed into my mind, along with the exact words he would use if he could see me now. His voice echoed in my head as clearly as if he'd been standing next to me.  
_Mmm…Darrian, that is more like it. Why don't you join me for a little fun, hmm? I should love to take my turn with that tongue of yours.  
_The ghost of a mouth suckled at my earlobe. I heard a door slam somewhere, followed immediately by angry shouting.

"I always liked redheads," the girl was muttering. "You're always so passionate."  
I faltered, unsure; her tone suddenly wrong. Cheap. But before I could do anything else, someone gripped my arm from behind, whirling me round and I received a fierce kiss.  
"Let's get out of here."

The urgency in my lover's face caught my attention instantly. Something was very wrong. I nodded. Then the girl said,  
"Darrian?"  
"No."  
I didn't even bother to look at her; surely she could see I was busy. His face was desperate, he needed me now.  
"Let's go."  
I took his hand, just as the persistent girl grabbed at my sleeve.  
"Hey!"

My patience snapped. Keeping a firm grip on Zev's hand I rounded on her, my jaw set, and told her exactly what I thought of her pestering. Loudly. There was a shocked silence from the other guests and then a sharp crack reverberated round the room as her hand connected with my face. I blinked stars out of my eyes, my ear ringing; my cheek burned and stung furiously.  
"Come on, Zev."  
I turned on my heel and we hurried to the door, Zev forcing people out of the way.

The cold air hit me like a fist in the face and I gasped.  
"Zev, what-"  
He grabbed my shoulder, throwing me against the nearest wall. His lips met mine fiercely, his tongue pushing in. Fingers twisted into my hair and I wrapped my arms round his neck. There was a new feeling to his body, to the way he was moving. It was danger. I could feel the assassin within, writhing under the surface, just waiting for a chance to break free. But it wasn't aimed at me and this new Zev was extremely erotic. One hand ran down my body and tugged at my right thigh, the other yanking his belt open. I hooked my leg over his hip and he pulled at the other one. I rested my weight on his shoulders, catching his gaze as I did so. I paused, staring at the look he was giving me. It was predatory: possessive and hungry. I felt that same hunger surge up inside me and I pulled his mouth towards me again as he hoisted me up, my tongue plundering his throat. My left leg crooked round his waist. I gripped onto him tightly as his hand snaked under my skirt, pulling my underclothes down just enough to be out of the way then grasping my thigh again. I had badly misjudged how big he would be; my cry was lost in his demanding mouth as the pain rushed through my body. It was incredible.

We had fucked in so many places, so many times, but never in public, never where others would see. And I found that I really didn't care if they did. I had no idea what was driving him but I liked it. His thrusts were quick and rough and I groaned, arcing my back. He broke away from my mouth and pushed into my neck, biting hard. Pain shot through me again and I cried out in pleasure, balling the back of his shirt in my fists. His fingers dug into my thighs and I tightened them, forcing him closer still. I was panting rapidly, what little breath Zev had left me, stolen by the sheer desire that raced through my body. I gripped his hair with one hand, fingers twisting into it, tugging. He growled, pushing even deeper.

Suddenly there were footsteps and someone right behind Zevran said,  
"Hey, you!"  
He didn't even react, just pushed closer, still licking and biting my neck. I had opened my eyes at the shout, but I couldn't warn him in time.  
"Zev!"  
The hand grabbed his shoulder at the same moment I spoke, and a blaze of pain tore across my skin as he bit down in shock, making me yell in his ear. He whipped his head round, snarling.  
"Go, if you wish to live."  
The intruder took one look at his expression and stumbled backwards, running down the street. Zev let go of one of my legs, forcing me to grip onto his waist. He hurled something at the fleeing figure and it flashed wickedly in the moonlight. There was a clatter as metal hit cobbles.

He had held me close, protectively, as he looked round, but had almost pulled out, losing his rhythm entirely. As he turned back to me he grasped at my thigh, caught my lips with his and slammed into me as hard as he could.  
"Ah!"  
Teeth tugged at my lip before latching onto my throat and I dug my nails into his back, groaning his name. His ferocious grunts were punctuated by cries as loud as my own. I clutched him to me, biting his ear and he moaned, running a hot tongue along my collarbone.  
"Ohhh, Darrian…"

An intense pressure pulsed in my groin, fuelled by the harsh rub of leather trousers against my arse. He had me pinned so tightly I couldn't thrust, so I flexed my muscles, pulling him deeper and he sped up, growling with lust. With a last, savage shove of his hips he brought me to a raging climax, the both of us hollering loud enough to wake half the City. He held me to the wall and the cold bricks rubbed my back, his body hot and sweating. Whatever had been coursing through him seemed to fall away and he let his head drop onto my shoulder, his chest heaving. I traced a gentle tongue up the edge of his ear, nipping its pointed tip. This had always been something he liked, and it had become my signature move. I'd intended it to comfort but he flinched away from me slightly, an anguished mewl in his throat.  
"No, please. Not tonight."  
I frowned, worried.  
"Okay, _bellus_. I'm sorry."  
I held him to me, resting my cheek on his damp brow and stroking his hair, still shivering from the onslaught.

I touched his arm gently.  
"Zev."  
After a moment his grip on my left thigh loosened, and he let my leg slide free. His fingers touched my stomach before they crept higher to twist into my shirt. My other leg was released, the hand that had held it moving up to the back of my shoulder. He was shaking. I hated seeing him like this, I needed to know.

"What's wrong, Zev? What happened?"  
He whimpered, nudging further into my neck as he shook his head. I rubbed my hand over his back, hoping to reassure him as I muttered random nonsense into his ear.  
"Zev, hush…whatever it is, whatever's happened, we'll work it out. It doesn't matter. You know you can trust me, you can tell me _anything_. Just…just tell me what happened." The backs of my eyes began to burn as I whispered, "Please."  
His voice was small, muffled in my shoulder.  
"I…I should never…" he stopped, unable to say whatever it was. His breath was rapid, body trembling. His grip tightened and to my horror I heard a sob choke from his throat, followed by another, and another. My lover's tears ran over my skin, soaking through the shirt he was clinging on to so desperately. I pulled him closer, wanting to make everything better, make everything right. But I couldn't if I didn't know what was wrong.

"Please…please forgive me."  
I took his face gently but firmly and lifted it to look into his streaming eyes. He dropped them, unwilling to meet mine, his breath hitching.  
"You've done nothing wrong."  
He looked up at me then, his eyes pleading silently, begging me to just do this. For him.  
"I forgive you, Zev. Of course I forgive you."  
He gripped me tighter, burying his face in my damp neck once more. I felt him swallow, his hands trembling and in a whisper that I barely heard, he said,  
"I betrayed you."

I closed my eyes and pressed my lips together, cradling the back of his head. An image of the blonde girl exploded into my mind, the way she had felt, _tasted_. A wave of self-loathing washed over me, followed by a deep, penetrating guilt.  
"No," I murmured, just as quietly. "You didn't betray me. You have never betrayed me."  
He could barely speak through the sobs that wracked his throat.  
"But…but she…asked me…and I told her…"  
I stopped him with a low, reassuring hum, pulling him against me.  
"Did you tell her where we live? Or that I'm a Warden, that you're a Crow?"  
I knew he hadn't. He wouldn't. He shook his head frantically.  
"Then it doesn't matter what you told her. It doesn't matter."  
"I…I am…s-sorry. I am so sorry."

We stayed that way in silence, his hot breath warming my skin, my fingers combing through his soft, thick hair. His sobs slowed with the occasional hiccough; he was still clinging on to me, his head on my shoulder. I breathed him in, his familiar scent of leather and warm spices filling my lungs. His fingers had been playing with my shirt and they tightened, his heartbeat doubling against my chest as he stuttered,  
"Do you…do you still love me, Darrian?"  
I wanted to look him in the eyes, needed him to understand. I put a gentle hand on either side of his handsome face, tipping his head up again. Those stunning almond eyes searched mine desperately.  
"I love you, Zevran Arainai. I will _always_ love you."  
He took a shaky breath and bit his lip. He raised his hand to brush a lock of hair from my face then he returned my gaze, sincerity and guilt written deep in his eyes.  
"I love you, Darrian."

I kissed him tenderly, caressing his bruised mouth with my tongue. After a long minute I pulled away, using my thumb to brush the salt from his cheek.  
"So does this mean I'll never become a master of sex?"  
He let out a weak chuckle.  
"You are a natural, with skills I have never known in another. I do not care whether you have been with a woman. I…I do not want you to." His eyes flicked tentatively up to mine. "You are the best this man has ever had. I do not want to share you."  
I smiled softly.  
"You don't have to. I'm all yours."  
He pulled me tightly to him as we kissed. Almond eyes looked into my face and a slender finger ran down my cheek. His voice was low, hoarse.  
"Mine."

We held hands the whole way home. When we got there we went to the bedchamber to undress each other, never once breaking contact. We laid down together quietly, holding each other's eyes. We touched, kissed, caressed. Talked and listened. We made love slowly, and he seemed captivated by the intimacy, how gentle I was with him. He needed me to be there for him, to hold him, to take him. So I was, and I did. We fell asleep in each other's arms. That was the night we truly knew how much we loved each other.


End file.
